Most couples don't struggle because they don't care. They struggle because feelings move faster than anyone can make sense of them. The same arguments keep coming back, and one of you pushes while the other pulls away. You end up wondering how two people who love each other can feel so misunderstood.
Rooted is a video course for couples who want to change that. You might feel close and want to stay that way. You might feel stuck, or you might be close to crisis. Wherever you're starting from, you're welcome here.
The course won't tell you whether to stay together. It won't take sides or decide who needs to change more. It helps you both see what's going on underneath the arguments and the distance, and it gives you practical tools to respond with more care.
Welcome. An overview of the course and how to get the most from the it.
The emotions beneath conflict. Why anger is often covering hurt, fear or loneliness, with the Anger Iceberg and the Feelings Wheel to help you find the right words.
Attachment styles. How we each learned to handle closeness and distance, and why some arguments feel so intense.
Imago theory. Why we're drawn to the partners we choose, and what conflict can teach us.
The stages of a relationship. From romance to power struggle to conscious love, and why the hard parts are more normal than you think.
Values. The things that matter most to each of you, and how they sit under everyday disagreements.
The Drama Triangle. The victim, persecutor and rescuer roles couples fall into, and healthier ways out.
Calming the nervous system. What happens in your body during conflict, and how to settle before you talk.
Communication skills. Gottman's \"Four Horsemen\" and their antidotes, plus how to make a real apology.
How we experience love. The five love languages, with a short quiz to find yours.
Staying connected. The Daily Temperature Reading: a 10-minute check-in that keeps you close when life gets busy.
Moving forward together. Reflecting on what you've learned and choosing what each of you will take forward into the your future relationship.
12 short video chapters, about an hour in total
Watch together at your own pace. Pause for the exercises, take breaks, and come back when you're ready.
Reflection questions and exercises to do alone and together. Have a pen and paper to hand.
Watch on your phone, tablet or computer
£195, one-off payment, with lifetime access
Whether you’re navigating conflict or want to build strong foundations from the start, this course gives you the tools to grow together. It’s completely fine if one of you is more enthusiastic than the other. You don’t have to be on the same page to begin.
Rooted is educational. It isn't a replacement for therapy, and it isn't suitable if either of you feels unsafe in the relationship. If you'd like more support, I offer couple counselling in person.
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